Imagine a Scenario…
Guest Blog Post By Nicky Butler
I’d like you to try and imagine a scenario, if you will...
Your best buddy has dragged you out to a party. You’re a bit of a social introvert, and you didn’t really want to go but, since it’s your best friend, you indulged her. The party’s crowded and noisy, and it’s full of people from your friend’s home country. They don’t really speak your language and you don’t speak theirs – but it’s ok because your friend promised she’d stick beside you and translate, and make sure you don’t feel uncomfortable.
The people at the party are very different from you. They are fascinated with your skin… your hair… your clothes. They chatter very loudly to each other, and they touch you. They don’t have the same personal boundaries in their culture as you do in yours. You begin to feel a little intimidated and uncomfortable, and want to move away, but your buddy is having fun and talking with her friends in their native tongue, so you shuffle your feet a bit and gaze meaningfully at her in the hope that she will notice your discomfort. Besides, she’s your ride, and you didn’t bring enough money for an Uber.
Someone touches your arm and says something to their friend that you don’t understand. You really want to leave now. Why isn’t your friend noticing how uncomfortable you are? A lady steps towards you and runs a lock of your hair through her fingers, seemingly captivated by its colour or texture. You don’t know, because you can’t understand what she’s saying and she’s oblivious to how inappropriate she’s being about your personal space and boundaries. She says something to your friend and then they both smile and nod, and look at you. The lady’s friend then also reaches out to touch your hair and finally you’ve had enough, and you snap. Without thinking, you slap the woman’s hand away from you – hard.
The woman recoils, and there is a collective gasp from everyone around you. Your buddy looks horrified. “What’s wrong with you? How could you do this to me?” she growls through gritted teeth. “We’re leaving.” She takes your arm and starts to steer you towards the door. A man steps in front of her, and stops her, and they have a conversation. You can’t understand what they’re saying, but it sounds serious. You wait beside her, wondering what’s happening and feeling upset. Not long afterwards, the police arrive. You have been accused of assault, and they take you outside and put you in their vehicle. Your friend can’t come with you and she watches as you are driven away, looking very upset and shaken.
But this scenario isn’t about two human friends at a party. This scenario is what well-meaning but clueless dog owners put their four-legged best friends through on a daily basis. Dogs don’t speak human. Dogs don’t know or understand how to behave in the human world unless we teach them. While we’re wrapped up in our distraction-filled little universe we miss the vital signs that our dogs give us about their well-being and stress levels from moment to moment, while they’re stuck down at knee-level with a very different view and perspective of the world.
When you told that stranger, “Yes, he’s friendly, you can pet him,” did you ask your dog if he felt comfortable with someone looming into his space and shoving their hand in his face? And by that I don’t mean literally asking your dog’s consent. I mean, understanding his body language and responding to it accordingly. Your dog’s not a stuffed toy. You’re not a mobile petting zoo.
Aside from not listening to your dog properly, you are putting your need to be perceived as polite or friendly – by people you don’t even know – ahead of advocating for your canine best friend. Why do you care whether someone else thinks you are polite or not? You can be perfectly civil while still solidly advocating for your dog. I do it all the time, depending on the situation. A simple, firm but cheerful, “Sorry, no, he’s being trained,” should suffice, together with constant forward motion. Nobody wants to talk to someone’s back. In addition, stopping and dithering means that a dog’s adrenaline and energy have no outlet. He is being restrained with a leash in a situation that he may be uncomfortable in. Translating that energy into positive, forward motion stops the adrenaline building and also teaches the dog to ignore distractions. You don’t have to stop just because someone else does.
Finally; have good situational awareness. If you have taught a solid Heel position and your dog is nice and close to your side, you can devote all your attention to whatever is going on around you. You can anticipate any problems and work out a plan of action to deal with them before they arise. That nosy neighbor who always wants to stop and gossip? She’s still 50 feet away. Cross the road. Change direction. Same for that group of noisy schoolchildren clustered at the bus stop. Avoidance tactics. Why stress your dog needlessly? That mother up ahead with the toddler whose little hands might make a grab for your dog as you go past? Move to one side so that you can put yourself between them and your dog, and that way keep everyone safe. You can do exactly the same when passing other owners and their dogs. Stay in your lane. “Your lane” is you and your dog.
Don’t get me wrong; this article isn’t about becoming a social recluse, or avoiding everyone. It’s about learning the art of discernment. It’s about learning not to be afraid to say, “No,” and how to advocate for your dog. If you start seeing and hearing things from a dog’s perspective, the world looks a very different place. Bear that in mind with everything you do with your dog, and with your dog’s training, and you can’t go wrong.
ABOUT NICKY BUTLER // DUTIFUL DOGS
Nicky Butler's journey in dog training started back in Kenya over a decade ago. She had been working in the bush as a luxury camp manager and safari guide, but sadly had to move back to town for health reasons. Her new boss was looking for what was called a “Personal Protection Dog”, or “PPD”, the security situation in East Africa being what it is. He had heard of a company that was producing dogs the like of which he said nobody had seen before. He made an appointment to go and visit their facility, with a view to buying one of their dogs. Little did Nicky know that, not only would she be coming home with a dog of her own but, thanks to a sudden change in circumstances, within just a few short weeks she'd be back there full-time, managing the facility and training as a full-time working handler and trainer.
Personal Protection Dogs are not “attack dogs”. The dogs they produced were designed to fit safely and unobtrusively into family home situations – but with the working skills of a tactical ops dog that could be activated almost at the flick of a switch. The training principles behind this particular type of dog come from generations long past; as far back as the Second World War at least. When her employers eventually moved their facility back to the US, Nicky took the knowledge and experience she had gained and formed her own company – Dutiful Dogs.
When Nicky returned to the UK in 2016, she brought the company with her, and continued to build and develop it into the business it is today. She has invested - and will continue to invest - everything she has into studying, working with, and learning from the best mentors in the dog industry, wherever in the world that takes her, so that she can best serve the needs of the clients she works with.
Right now, she devotes her energies and experience into working one on one with everyday dog owners, passing on the craft she has learned over the years, so that they too can train their dogs in the way dogs learn best. She works with owners and dogs of all ages and abilities. She works with every size of every breed, and deals with every issue under the sun, from couch-destroyers to counter-surfers; from puppy mouthing to postman-biting. As dog fanatics, their dogs are their lives. As your trainer, your dog’s welfare and wellbeing matters as much to her as it does to you – and together she helps clients make a team the dog will want to be a part of.